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Archive for the ‘Silliness’ Category

Sailor Baby

If, like me, you’ve got a child who’s learning to talk, you may occasionally hear some shocking things coming out of his or her mouth. Rest assured, these are not what they sound like. Here is a handy decoder chart to set your mind at ease:

Sounds Like Means
THE F-WORD “Fork.” Or maybe “Frog.”
POON No, your child is not a PUA discussing the results of a night of sarging. This means “spoon.”
ASS “Ask” or “asked.” As in “I ass Mommy fo’ chockit” (I asked Mommy for chocolate).
THE S-WORD “Sit.” As in “Mommy – I sh**ting on a tair!” (Mommy, I’m sitting on a chair!)
THE D-WORD Okay, this just means Mommy has been swearing too much and really needs to start watching her language better.

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I have a newly published essay out in the latest edition of Ducts.org. It’s a humor piece on dating called “Smug Married Advice to the Single.” Enjoy!

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Quote of the Day

“This movie is so funny! You’ll laugh. You will be on the floor, like a bacon.”

– Jean-Marc

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Quote of the Day

“Guys are sleazy, especially sleazy guys.”

– Jean-Marc

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